I have created this illusion in my mind.
That I am weird.
That my body is hideous.
That I alone, am ugly.
I believe that anyone is stupid
to be with me.
To see something in me.
To love me.
For what is there to love?
My teeth are crooked.
My breasts aren’t perky.
I have stretch marks.
I sweat a lot.
My feet look like hands of an animal.
and I have more chins than Chinatown.
And yet, I’m about to hit three months with him.
Someone who saw past all my stretched thighs,
crooked grill, sad breasts, and the hate I held for myself.
For so long, I had been unhappy with myself.
I allowed myself to be this way.
I listened to sad music and soon became
part of the song.
The lyrics were now about me.
I was the girl with a constant headache,
wanting a heart tattoo, and alas always
dizzy on the come down.
For I felt that losing you truly was
like cutting my fingers off.
I lost him for a week.
And it tore me to bits of grain.
And I’ll never let him walk away again.
I said I loved him a little too early.
And I believe that drove him away.
I believe I scared the both of us.
And though I second guessed if we should be together,
given the arguments and daily heartbreak moments…
Well there really no one I’d rather be with.
Do I love him?
Well that’s something only I truly know
and will keep to myself for awhile.
But I can tell you
that I am incredibly happy.
that I am starting to love myself
and see beauty in all my differences.
I love my smile.
I love my ugly feet.
I love most of my body.
and I love being with him.
He is perfect.